I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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