His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
