he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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