Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
