You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
