Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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