I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
