Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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