nut hugger
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
