A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
