i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
