it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize