I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize