I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
