We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
