# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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