Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
