i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
