Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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