The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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