You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize