every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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