Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head

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(631): View more from New York

Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

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(563): View more from Iowa

you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?

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(716): View more from New York

I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

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(301): View more from Maryland

the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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(904): View more from Florida

And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool

(386): View more from Florida

It could be our claim to fame

(904): View more from Florida

Done. I'll pack a cooler.

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(602): View more from Arizona

We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

(480): View more from Arizona

What will that accomplish?

(602): View more from Arizona

It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round

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(540): View more from Virginia

We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background

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