I'm eating all of the evidence.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize