Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
