i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize