just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
