So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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