So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
