i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
