I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
