I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize