Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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