I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
