I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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