What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
