she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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