it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
