I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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