Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
