Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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