idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
