Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
