ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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