I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
