the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
