also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
