I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
did i just pee glitter
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
