So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
