I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize