my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
