i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
