Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
