That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
