You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His nipple licking is glorious
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