Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
