I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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